i had this feeling na dapat before ako magtwenty..ayusin ko na lahat ng mga kelangan kong ayusin...

• room
• relationship
• hair
• bsta lahat ng tungkol sakin

so aun nga inayos ko nga..

naglinis ng kwarto..

nagtext at humingi ng tawad sa mga taong na offend ko..

relationship with God...

ay, di ko pa ata naayus ung buhok ko..pero nagpagupit ako..

uhm ano pa ba?

lumabas with old friends...rekindle our friendship..

well, successful namn siguro..

and from doing that ive learned many things as of today....

• There are people in my life that can be considered as 'rubbish', and need to be thrown away...............................
• Be very very very cautious in choosing friends...Some of them are like sugar coated candies, yummy looking but bitter to taste............................
  
• Think twice before saving numbers...............................

Make sense...

• another thing...dont make friends with people na super yabang.. ung tipong ang laki laki na ng ulo nila and they jst cant carry it.......................
• dont be too kind to people, adiel......................be cautious..
  

I got another contract with my dad. Signed with the all-time favorite "pinky-to-pinky promise finger".

I love my dad. Well, it's that much that I decided to pursue this degree. I dont know if I'm one of those that they called 'daddy's girl'. But I think I am.

Growing with my 4 brothers, seven years without my dad because he is around the world working for us. He came back when I was seven. As the unica hija in the family, he might have spoiled me a little bit. Not just him, maybe the whole family. I am completely attached to my dad that everytime they (mum and dad) would have a conflict, I would be bias and say "kampi tayo di <short for dadi>". But of course, I love my mum too and we're close too especially about stuffs that dadi doesn't like or not interested to hear. <shopping, crushes, gossips hehe>

You see, dad is a chinese, filipino, dark, tall, funny and fat man <handsome too, he is my dad however.>. He gained so much weight. He doesn't smoke or drink and yet, he's tummy is so big. A bit frustrated to him because eating is his bad vice. He eats when he's happy or sad, stressed, or high blood. haaay..In the same way, he is frustrated to me too. He wanted me to be an architect. Ok, im studying to be like one. But, i often, well, making him feel that I won't be one someday. It's not that Im not studying well. Naku, super nga eh. It's everytime he will request me to do something for him <plan drawings>, parang wala lang or do my favorite hobby: to sleep. He doesn't tell me his frustration but i feel it.

So anyway, he <my dad> gave me another task <design works> to accomplish which I dont like to do but i have no choice but to work on it. But before I make-face and give him the old-time sigh <meaning - dad, please let other draftsman do it, not me oh please>, I offered him a contract of agreement that he would lose weight and he would not hear me murmuring or see me frowning that will make his day be ruined. I just hope that works. Well, i do pray.

gusto kong magwala.. alam ko sabi ko okay lang
 ok i lied! it's not okay.. im not feeling good after that!
after our talk.. how am i suppose to feel? happy?!
im so stupid! i feel so sorry for myself.. for what i did on those times
na dapat ginawa ko ung dapt kong gawin. i feel i dont have the right to go out and
have some fun.. they dont deserve what ive done..
God im so sorry.. i hate this feeling.. alam ko naman ganito mangyayari eh..
but i hate it.. i hate this feeling.. isang malaking siomai tlga!

siomai!!! i am so laughing out loud!!!! grabe!! nakakamatay ang sagot ni ate!!! parang,, "huwwwwhaaat????" pero i salute her for being that confident.. niahahhahaha...

yup this was a normal and my first reaction about this clip.. but of course i adore her confidence and determination after what happened..

we do all have our ups and downs but everything happens for a reason.. and besides we all commit mistakes and because of it,we become stronger and wiser.. she just have to prove to the Filipino people that she is worth to represent our country..my prayers are with her.. go janina!

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but God directs his path.”

Well, honestly, I really had a hard time in my first years in college because I didn’t like the course. I am not that talented or skilled either in drawing and designing nor in combining colors (Mam Jing can testify to that because she was my graphics and visuals 4 instructor and almost gave me a failing grade, hehe).  I was scared to go to school every day and there was no term that I did not shed a single tear. I often question God why He allowed me to be put in here because I am not enjoying it. I thought if only I took mass communication, maybe my life would be happier and easier. yah im dedz..

But some odd things happen every single term, odd things which I know were not my own doings but Someone greater than me>

I got academic scholarships and even made it to the dean’s list. I am not bragging about it but I am honest that it is not I who did it but it is God.  I have always thought that this is not the career for me but God always proves that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. He gave me friends (higher years, batchmates) who taught me how to draw, great teachers  who encouraged me to continue and believed that I can do it and a family that constantly and unselfishly gives their support. I mean if this is not the right path for me, I could have flanked my subjects and be a drop-out. It was just a matter of attitude and trust in Him.

So what’s my career plans?

As I complete my final terms in Mapua, I still could not imagine myself as a career woman, I still desire to do a lot of things. I want to study languages. I feel like enhancing my communication skills. I am also thinking of learning more about fashion designs. It does not mean that doing such would make a complete 180 degree turn or shift of profession but it think it’s an “add-ons” for my future endeavors.

At this point of time, I feel I still lack the architectural skills needed to pursue architecture- related career, though practically speaking I know I should get myself a job related to my God-given course so that any of my lacking architectural skills could be provided by the trainings and experiences I would gain from the job. A two-year period is required before our board exam or maybe more. I also would love to go to other country to expand my knowledge. I could just pray now for God’s help so I could be prepared to become a full-fledged architect someday.

Of course, the above are just my plans and I still do not know what the plans of the Master Architect are for me. I am only the draftsman and I am giving a clear sheet of tracing paper of my life to Him.

I still do not know at this time.  Maybe, and who knows if and when, I could be the first architect who will win the Bb. Pilipinas someday or the next  Zaha Hadid of the world.  Just like what the wisest man King Solomon said,   “Many are the plans in a man’s heart but God directs his paths”.

So help me God.

Shockingly, the moment our mothers gave birth to us, we actually start dying.

This is an excerpt from steve job's speech for the stanford college graduates of 2005,,,,

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

and so.....

"You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

remarks:

we only have one chance of everything, so it is important to seize the day. Life is all about taking risks but the most important probably is to cherish everybody in your life, i think we are only as great as the way we treat others in our life.

and that is something i learned, cherishing and savouring each moment and each person that i encounter.. even the smile of that candy vendor in front of cantunan, or the spit of that pajak driver at intramuros, or how the school's nurses, doctors and some of the i-do-not-know students, laughed at me when i stumbled in front of the clinic.. i mean everything.. moments, people, food, places,,

waking up everyday, excited to meet the new challenges of the life He gave me with optimism and smile..

yes, this is an alibi for me not to start doing and printing my thesis book that will be pass tomorrow noon.. haha

hmm, im very much excited to go to cebu this summer.. very na much pa..di ba..
actually im enthused to know that this term is about to end.. and the longest
vacation is about to begin.. plans for that coming break are thrilling and cant wait to do
them all...

    going to pangasinan beaches (i forgot the name), i dont really like the beaches nor
    the tanning effect of summer, (becoz my skin is more than enough to prove
    that the sun really loves me), what i love is the swwwwiiimweeeaaars... and the
    whole summer get ups..vanity, niahaha

    hosting the uapsa congress at cebu which i am not sure if
    i am really excited or i am just so sO freaking out
    for that time to come, coz i dont know if im that equipped to
    do that..excited coz, it is my very first time to go to cebu, and il be doing
    something that i want.. and would want to develop..(emceeing and such)

    hhmmm meeting new people,, i love speaking to people..
    and more than that ilove learning from them..laughing and cracking jokes
    with them too.. hmm i always do that naman,..it's still something that
    exhilarates me..

    enjoy swimming lessons, and work out..
   
BUT!!!

(hate butss), i need to do my thesis first, pass that cadd plans, and do that design proposals..
hehe..
wow, i was able to write it (my mind) on screen.. yey me!

ayst by the way, i learned a big lesson last sunday,, "it is to enjoy life while i still have the chance, that's why it's carpe diem,.live every moment as if tomorrow will never come.."

haaaay,,,
well, trying to put my brain into writing..well, i cant really put it into words..haha
 
i dont have classes since yesterday, and im wasting my time eating and dreaming..i feel like im bloating..maybe i gained weight since yesterday.. you knw what, im stressed out, because im doing nothing and i know that i must be doing something and im not really moving..haha ok, i feel sad about it..

today, i woked up so late..
i wish to go to the spa, but im still waiting for someone or something i dont really know.. but surely i will go to the spa before the day ends...

anyway, im excited to do my thesis..about fashion school..
the idea came from Emmeline and friends.. im so thankful to them..
uhm i am excited ,yet, im not really doing anything to start it..hahaha..
haaaay,,

later, i need to start the plans and the proposed calling card for prac2, report on planning 2 and 3, check the program for tomorrow seminar. and of course the second draft of the thesis thing,,. but before all of that need to go to the gym, the spa and the salon..

waaaah!